Over the Cuckoo's Nest
by andyjay18
Summary: Homura finally comes to terms with the new reality.


The pendulum swung back and forth, casting a shadow across the spare white chamber like the Sword of Damocles, and marking the interminable passage of time forward. Homura idly noticed that in just four minutes, it would strike 12. The same number of days as before Walpurgisnacht would arrive and toll the end of her strategy game to save Madoka Kaname, and once again without the other three to assist her.

And of course, her opponent was seated facing her from across the table, as if this were all a mere game. Of course, the whole nightmare always unfolded much like an elaborate domino set, with each falling piece unfolding in a pattern, or bumping a lever that set a whole different row to toppling or even setting off an elaborate Rube Goldberg device. Either way, it always ended in the same fashion; with all the tiles flat on the surface. And occasionally Homura thought that Soul Gems _did _look like they could be used in marbles or craps games. Yes, it was a rather morbid image, but she thought a little gallows humor once in a while was necessary to keep herself from finally cracking and joining Charlotte, Oktavia von Seckendorff and (her throat ached slightly) Kriemhild Gretchen.

"There was nothing that could've been done," said the disarmingly calm voice. "I do wish you'd try to believe me on this. It really is for the best that…"

Despite the mental numbness she had trained on to keep herself psychologically afloat, a small flare erupted somewhere deep in Homura's brain, and it was all she could do to keep herself from jumping up and strangling the round, white face staring her down with its eerie smile.

"And you must listen to me," the stone-faced girl answered. "No matter what it takes, I _will _keep Kaname-san away from you, and I will defeat Walpurgisnacht on my own."

The white face seemed to nod horizontally. "It seems we discuss this matter at least once a day. Do you not see the grief and fear you're bringing to the people around you? I know reality can be harsh, but occasionally we all just need to accept things as they are."

Homura clenched her fists as her voice rose a notch. "I should be asking _you_ that question! But then, I _know_ what you think about all the girls you contract—not to mention their friends and families. I…I always _tried _to keep Miki-san away from you too, at least at first, but she only ever listened to you and Tomoe-san! Maybe _she'll_ never listen to me, but I'll see that Kaname-san does!"

"Speaking of Tomoe-san, you remember, of course, that it was she who first introduced you to me."

Homura's brow furrowed. "W-what are you talking about?" This time around, she had first spotted the Incubator skulking toward Madoka and Sayaka during lunch. None of them would meet Mami until that afternoon, when they blundered into Gertrud's barrier. There had been other go-arounds when Mami was present during their meeting (such as the very first time she'd seen him, in Isabel's barrier), but this timeline was not one of them.

He couldn't possibly have a trace cross-universe memory of Homura's time-traveling abilities, could he?

Kyubey cocked his head. "Because she was concerned about you and your…dedication to saving Kaname-san. Are you sure you don't remember?"

"I thought you said your species never lies, per se. Even if you don't believe in telling the _whole_ truth."

"No, I do not lie," the pale face said. "You know our regulations strictly forbid it."

"But you only tell people what they _want_ to hear!" Homura retorted, her voice rising again. "Your…_enterprise_ is still based on deception!"

"That's…quite an interesting choice of words, if you asked me. Me telling Miki-san or Tomoe-san only what they want to hear. Have you ever wondered what you're telling yourself?"

Once upon an immemorably long time, Homura had wondered if she was doing just that; if there was _always_ just something missing in Madoka's life that always led her back to Kyubey; if her neverending mission was just a fool's errand. Even now such hopelessness occasionally crept into her mind during her fitful nights. But during her waking hours, especially with her eternal nemesis seated before her like that damned cat Amy that Madoka had rescued so long ago, no way would she ever surrender to those thoughts.

"I repeat," Homura said, gritting her teeth with rising rage as her hand trembled above her shield. "I will _never_ give up. Madoka saved my life, she was the first girl to make friends with me; I _will _save her life, no matter what it takes."

The white figure sighed. "And I suppose I'll have to repeat what I've been repeating to you every day now for the past month. Kaname Madoka-san is dead. She was hit by a car trying to rescue a cat from the street. We understand your trauma and grief, but your outbursts and…fantasies of trying to go back in time and save her have only been disturbing the other students and teachers. " Dr. Kyuubei reached out and laid a hand on one of Homura's. "We realize it's going to be a long, painful journey for you, but we're trying to help."

"So you do know about my ability," Homura said. "I still won't give up. And now I know another thing about you—you do tell lies after all! Kaname-san is at home. Obviously she's still in despair over Miki-san, but…at least she's still alive!"

"Miki-san is probably in history class right now. And Tomoe-san—the one you say 'dies every time'—is right outside the door, waiting to escort you back to class."

"That's not true either!" Homura cried, her voice breaking. The tears which had always been close to the surface for the past two months started dripping out. "That damn Miki-san never listens, but Kaname…Ka…naaaa…" Her chest started heaving with sobs. "Take THIS!" She reached into her shield and pulled out a rocket launcher, then aimed it toward her arch-nemesis.

The pale, balding Dr. Kyuubei folded his arms across his chest. "Please put that pen away, Akemi-san, or I'll have you suspended. I'm sorry you have to see these, but…" He reached into a drawer on his desk and pulled out a manila folder, then drew out another piece of paper. "This is a photocopy of her death certificate, notarized and everything. We had to jump through quite a lot of bureaucratic hoops with the prefecture to get this, but her parents felt it was quite necessary to show you it." The school psychiatrist then pulled out a newspaper clipping. "And here's the news story."

Homura had pushed her glasses up onto her head as she sobbed openly into her hands. "Sh-she died right in front of me…My only friend at this school. All because of a…stupid _cat_. I know she really liked her and wanted to adopt her, but _still_…" She paused to wipe her nose. "I-it just isn't fair."

Dr. Kyuubei sighed again. "Well, I'm afraid to say that I'm pretty certain life is not in fact fair. But we still have the power to reach out to those in need. That's why I'm here, and that's why Tomoe-san, Miki-san, and Saotome-sensei wanted you to come see me. And I think Kaname-san would've agreed with them. Do you understand?"

Homura's tears had abated. "Yes. I just…thought I had no one else to depend on anymore."

"Well, like I've been saying," replied the psychiatrist. "Kaname-san's friends have been pretty supportive of you throughout all this. Miki-san knew her since elementary school; you know this affected her pretty bad as well, right?"

Homura nodded.

"And memory itself is a powerful thing too. As long as you remember Kaname-san, she's never entirely gone. Speaking of which, there's one more thing I think you should take a look at…"

-O-O-O-

"My, Akemi-san…I don't recall you with that red ribbon when you went into Kyuubei-sensei's office," Mami gasped upon seeing what was in Homura's hand. Her usual smile sunk slightly. "Did he give it to you?"

"Yes," Homura replied, wiping her eyes.

"W-was it something to do with…?"

"I'll explain on the way home," Homura answered. Even now she could feel the tears struggling to return, but at least she now had a lovely keepsake of her lovely best friend. She probably would cry again when she explained to Mami where the ribbon had come from (even though Mami had probably already guessed), but it would be a lot less painful in the presence of a supportive friend.

This probably wouldn't be her last session with Dr. Kyuubei, but at least now she had managed to convince herself that there was more to life than fool's errands. And also that her best friend was doing fine, and eventually they would one day meet again.

But even before she visited the psychiatrist again, she first wanted to visit a hair salon.

Wearing her hair straight and long instead of in braids seemed like it would suit this ribbon better.

-O-O-O-

Dr. Kyuubei smiled slightly. It was good that Akemi-san and Tomoe-san were becoming friends. For one thing, they were both orphans (Akemi-san's parents had died when she was in elementary school; Tomoe-san's actually in her first year of middle school). Tomoe-san was rather lonely, and of course Akemi-san thought she was completely alone in the world and "didn't need to depend on anyone anymore". If any two classmates at this school complemented each other, it was them.

But he couldn't dwell on Akemi-san for too long; he had a busy afternoon ahead of him, and had to get his files in order. Next up was a boy named Ikari Shinji, whose mother had unfortunately died when he was young. Supposedly he was also _really_ into mecha anime, and was enacting some rather intense fantasies involving them to cope. There was another boy named Akasaka Kaito, who was supposedly coping with his parents' recent divorce and his anxieties about moving on to high school next year by pretending he was a space marine named "Ledo" fighting evil squidlike aliens called "Hideauze".

Yes, _chuunibyou_ was quite an interesting, yet lucrative, social phenomenon. He planned to write a letter to the medical board requesting funding for further studies.

_Wrote this all in one sitting. You're welcome._


End file.
